I Parted With My Fro
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text][eltdf_dropcaps type=”normal” color=”” background_color=””]A[/eltdf_dropcaps]fter months of going back and forth on what to do with my hair, in September 2014 I made a decision, I had had it with my unhealthy relaxed hair.
My poor husband was so forbearing and patiently entertained me as I showed him countless pictures of potential hairstyles and toyed with the idea of shaving it all off. Finally, I made up my mind – I was going to go bald. I even coerced hubby to cut it himself (bonding exercise) so he wouldn’t fall off his chair one day when I returned home –ahem…hairless.
So we did the big chop. It was liberating, “I have never felt so beautiful in my life!” was often what I exclaimed to anyone that enquired as to why I had the new look. Also, getting a great number of likes on Instagram with my new look was confirmation that this was the best hair decision yet. Sweet as that was, the cherry on top was that hubby absolutely loved it. I then started the al-naturale route and decided to never relax my hair, well…at least for a while. There’s just something about having natural hair vibes that makes you feel very African!
However, that beautiful season came to an end because today, I lost my Africanness. After another spell of going to and fro (no pun intended) about the next hairstyle, I decided to relax my year-old Afro. My hairdresser did an excellent job and it was so great to be able to run my fingers through my hair again.
Then I had a solemn moment, and in my sadness felt as though my Africaness was no more. Just after I said this, it finally dawned on me, my “identity” as an African was in my hair. This got me thinking about my true and only identity, the one I have in Christ my savior. I realized how we can so easily make our identity in Christ more about the external than our regenerated hearts. We feel like we are more Christian because we are so busy doing stuff and looking the part. Then all of a sudden when we cannot do one thing or another we feel like we are no longer Christian.
[/vc_column_text][eltdf_separator position=”center” top_margin=”27″ bottom_margin=”0″][eltdf_blockquote text=”Countless things are crying out to steal our true identity, I can so easily get my identity from being a wife, a stay at home mom, a homeschooler or a sister.” show_icon=”yes”][eltdf_separator position=”center” top_margin=”30″ bottom_margin=”0″][vc_column_text]
This true identity is so deep rooted that no amount of “not being” or “not doing” can uproot it. Also when we begin to go down this path, we start to judge and condemn others who do not outwardly conform to what we have established as the standard or the true definition of XYZ. Countless things are crying out to steal our true identity, I can so easily get my identity from being a wife, a stay at home mom, a homeschooler or a sister. This leads to an identity crisis and steals from the joy of my true identity flowing into these above-mentioned things. Imagine the transformation of my marriage when I don’t find my identity in it? I will not find myself in a rut of performance making it seem as though I have it altogether. I will be freed from the pressure of the watching eye to keep up my ‘perfections’. What a joy to know I can rest in the all-sufficient grace of the Lord even for when I fail as a wife and continue to depend on Him in my striving to be a wife that brings Him glory. It’s no longer about me, It’s all about Him!