Personal Reflections On Covid-19

We’ve been locked down for 16 days in South Africa due to COVID-19. I have been floating from one day to another trying to balance home life, working from home and homeschooling my 5-year son. At first the pandemic felt surreal, so far removed from what I knew or heard. It felt foreign and unknown to my ‘comfortable’ Christian life. It actually started off as something we easily joked about in the work office until the numbers started spiking in China. Then, it spread from one continent to the next but it was still nowhere near home-Africa. So my husband and I went off on a trip to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary. Five days later our president announced a lockdown for 18 March 2020, we had to get home before then. We did and that’s when everything changed. 

 

Anxiety attacks

The first week of lockdown was ‘normal’, I worked normal hours, gave my son activities and writing exercises and we’d cook together.  After our evening devotions I’d go onto Netflix and binge on pandemic movies as a way of figuring out how ‘others’ feel when calamity strikes. Of course, movies aren’t real but I found myself starting to have all sorts of nightmares and thinking “it’s the end of the world”. I didn’t guard my ear and eye gate as Matthew instructs us in Matthew 6:22-23 “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

This binging of not so edifying content started to affect my mind and the meditations of my heart so I had to stop. I had to remind myself that as much as the world is falling apart, God is still in control. He knew this would happen , it’s no surprise to Him therefore it should not be a surprise to us. In such times we ought to look into scripture and remind ourselves what Paul said in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things”.

 

Data predictions and total despair 

I scrolled news updates every evening trying to get to grips with the numbers but it made me numb. These numbers were unfathomable and it was getting too close to home, literally. My mom, who is an essential services practitioner, was on the front line. Day 10 of lockdown I found out a person near her workplace was infected with the illness and for the first time in a while I crumbled. The idea that my mom could get the illness made me swob like a baby. I called her, she had the most peaceful and calm voice. We both knew who was in control and the call ended an hour later with me being so edified and strengthened. 

Be still and know that I am God 

The following days I was reminded of the scripture “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalms 46:10). The writer tells us that God is our refuge and fortress, He never withdraws himself from his afflicted. He is our help constantly. That passage shows that even though they maybe terrible things on this earth, the child of God should not underestimate the faithfulness of God. We are not to fear. In fact ours is to be still and know that He is who he says He is; God!

How many times have we just continued with our ‘our lives’ and not had a second to just be still? How many times have we been on the rat race and tried to control everything? Well, what Covid-19 has taught me is that this season is for being still, looking to the maker of heaven and earth and knowing who He is. Being still is not easy, not being in control is not easy but I am called to do so, even in this very moment. Life has become so fast that I have forgotten to be still, I had forgotten who is really in charge of ALL things. I pray that as we continue in our lockdown in South Africa, we may come closer to God, meditate on His words and know Him again. May this season lead us to be still as the world around us crumbles.  

 

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