My journey into motherhood, like so many of my journeys, started with Jesus. Jesus gently leading me to acknowledge the loss of never going to be able to have biological children. Jesus leading me to mourn, to cry, to surrender and to allow Him to heal me. This was hard, but when it was done I was free, free to move on, free to adopt.

Sadly the process of adopting a child in South Africa is marred with tons of red tape, over-worked social workers, a fair amount of prejudice and even what
one would call bureaucratic sabotage. Potential adoptive parents are often left feeling discouraged, powerless and unsupported, especially when trying to finalize the legal aspects of adopting a child.
When we adopted our daughter, who is turning 11 this month, the process was long, laborious and invasive, but I still consider us as one of the lucky ones, in that our adoption didn’t drag on for years and was not hindered by bureaucracy
and grave incompetence. It was however filled with many hours of probing questions, a long list of paper work we had to get done and an extensive waiting period.

We worked with a well known Johannesburg Adoption Agency and after 7 long
months our application was finally submitted and the waiting period started. I
found this period especially tough! We had no feedback from the agency and I
often felt very alone during this time. It takes a fair amount of faith to wait for an
unknown baby. To choose a name for this unknown baby. Prepare a room for
her. To pray for her. An unknown baby from a stranger who we would never
know, but to whom we would be forever connected. There are so many
unknowns when adopting, so many “ifs”, so many questions, doubts and fears.
An overwhelming degree of the adoption process is out of your control, you
really just have to let go and trust God.

The adoption process is emotionally draining. I will never forget the day that our session with our social worker consisted of the following questions: ‘Would you be open to adopting a child with physical disabilities? Would you consider
a baby who’s birth mom was raped? The baby of a drug addict? How about adopting a baby who has a history of mental illness in her family?” One answers these questions prayerfully and with a great deal of sadness and a weighty sense of responsibility.

One Friday morning we got, what is known in adoption circles as “The Call”! We had been matched with a baby. The wait was finally over. Now I finally knew that our little girl was nearly 7 months old and we could finalize the shopping list
and announce the long expected and wonderful news! It is a mad rush to get everything ready, a wonderfully sweet rush! The following week, we flew to Durban to meet our precious little one. As she was placed in my arms the long wait became a distant memory. It was done. Our daughter. At last! The next morning we made a quick court visit and then we brought our prefect little girl home….forever. The wonder of adoption is truly that this little person I have never met before is instantly connected to me. A connection planned and executed by my Heavenly Father. It is really difficult to put into words, but it is as if your heart just opens and receives this precious gift, no questions asked. I accepted and embraced her as my daughter 100%.
Having said that, bonding with your adopted baby does take time. When your baby comes home all is new and the journey from ‘strangers’ to mom-and-baby that unfolds is beautiful and in many ways sacred to me. All relationships take work and attachments take time to form. When we adopted our third baby, my then 5 year old son asked me: ”Mommy how will the baby know you are his mommy?”. I loved the honesty of his question. I told him the the baby would learn to know that I am his mommy as I care for and loved him[eltdf_blockquote text=”The gift of Adoption has taught me that when My Father says we are His children, it means that we are instantly and completely and forever accepted as His. It has taught me to trust God deeply and fully. ” title_tag=”h2″ width=””]. I have learned that when I surrender and allow Jesus in, He becomes intimately involved in the details of my life. I have learnt to ‘go with God’ no matter what, no matter where He leads me. And, whether it makes sense to me or not, I have learnt to trust that He knows best, even and especially when it hurts.

I am now, mother to my four beautiful children and I still stand amazed at how God has worked out the details. How He took 4 motherless children and a childless couple and put us together ….in a family, perfectly matched in Him, forever.

The post Healing…Adoption…Completion appeared first on Proverbs 31.

These stories often portray the heroes as individuals with needs, weaknesses, and even passions, like our own, who choose to set them aside, accepting the life of loneliness and secrecy to protect those they love and a city in need. In their fight for justice, these brave heroes turn into cape & spandex wearing vigilantes, answering the cries of those victimized by crime and the ill will of others. These heroes always have a rival – an enemy usually written in to create tension- a formidable nemesis set on finding and exploiting their every weakness and seeing to their doom. While some rivals succeed in wounding the heroes and sometimes even defeating them, the heroes never let up, coming back again and again. We know these type of stories well.

[eltdf_blockquote text=”There is yet another story about a hero; this hero won the victory 2000+ years ago. He was ready to execute a plan put in place before the very foundation of the earth was laid and it was in His hands that His Father’s will prospered. Unlike the fictional heroes who save men from the ramifications of crime, He was concerned with giving men life and saving them from the ramifications of sin.” title_tag=”h2″ width=””]

While He wouldn’t be known for catch phrases like “cowabunga”, tit bits like “with great power comes great responsibility” or the succinct “Hulk, smash”, He is known for disarming our enemy, in one instance, by quoting verses from the Bible. His bankable deliveries include the true-to-the-core “it is written that man shall not live on bread alone” statement, the comforting “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”, the cautionary “repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand” and the straightforward “I am the way, the truth, and the life…”. These words were not the ravings of a mad man but of a man who was and is God. His story stands out because it is true. His story points us to our very deliverance. You can literally hang all your hope on His words because when the comic books are closed and the cameras have stopped rolling, sin will still be raging, killing you and everyone around you. If you desire to survive this war, take heed, repent and place all your faith in the Son of man, Christ the Savior. He is the complete hero before whom sin, death and the devil didn’t stand a chance. How much more crime? Or injustice? Or pain?

So the next time you think of the “fastest man alive”, the “dark knight” or the alien from Krypton, think also of the New Adam, the Ancient of Days. Beloveds, we don’t need another hero for in Jesus the Christ, we have all we need.

The post We don’t need another hero appeared first on Proverbs 31.

Then, my grandfather’s funeral happened… this sad event provided the context for me to further contrast the Ubuntu in the village and that from the ‘burbs. My mind was blown away by how the whole village came around us in support. They knew and understood the difficulty of arranging a funeral and they all chipped in; some households brought serving tables and others brought a chair each -in isolation, it doesn’t seem like anything but 56 households later means 56 chairs.

This is how we were raised, yet how far we have departed from that manner of life? This retreat is tragic because the Ubuntu way of living is comparable to the way of life that God commanded when He stated that: the law is summed up in our love for Him and love for… yes, our neighbour. Granted, we have our church community, but I highly doubt that God was referring exclusively to our immediate family and church family when He used the term “neighbour”.

“Neighbour” refers to people that you live in close proximity to. Life in the burbs and its busyness has left us not knowing our neighbours. I dread to think of the day when I don’t need sugar but have a real emergency that requires my neighbour’s help. The dialogue would awkwardly be something like: “Hi, I am Lebo from number 14…erm…we’ve waved and smiled at each other a few times…so…please could you help me with…”

This concept of neighbourly love really hit home when I read one of Wednesday’s Word from Paul Tripp on people. The segment spoke about the importance of treating people as people or image bearers; not as the petrol attendant, the cashier or the bank teller but as a person who is bearing the very image of God. [eltdf_blockquote text=”How I treat my neighbours matters to God. They are the mission field that He has given to me. We think we need to hit the streets and cross borders to spread Gods love, when we can simply reach out our arms to our neighbours next door.” title_tag=”h2″ width=””] Consequently, hubby and I resolved that this year we would be deliberate about getting to know our neighbours and inviting them over for a meal. It won’t be easy and will mean getting out of our comfort zone, but we both know the blessing of growing in a community with loving neighbours.

Neighbourly love is so hard to do because my flesh wants nothing but my own comfort, wants not to be inconvenienced in anyway; but praise the Lord for the Holy Spirit who works in me, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

But, is not the whole point of neighbourly love merely an act of “considering others as more significant than ourselves”? Is it not being of the same humble mind that our Lord Jesus Christ had? May He be our help in our endeavour to love our neighbours as He would.

Halla in the comments below on some practical things we can do to live in community and “love thine neighbour.”

The post Ubuntu in the ‘burbs appeared first on Proverbs 31.

I grew up in the small city of Mzuzu, Malawi. I was raised by very religious grandparents who were very active members of the church. I recall never missing Sunday school, so from a young age I had an awareness of who God is, as well as an understanding of right from wrong. But I wouldn’t say I was saved. When I was 9 years old, I moved to Blantyre to live with my mother and step father due to family reasons. A year later I went to boarding school, where I spent the next four years of my life. After high school, like my fellow peers were, I was making plans for my life and university. None of which seemed to be going according to plan. I remember my mother telling me to pray over all my plans, which I did, but not whole heartedly.

Nothing seemed to be working out, and I ended up going to the last university I ever thought I would attend. Whilst at this university, I was introduced to a course called “Introduction to Philosophy and Critical Thinking”. It was in this class where my young mind was opened up to all the questions the world of philosophy presents. [eltdf_blockquote text=”“Is there really a God?”, “Who is God?”, “What does He look like?”, and “Are there multiple ways to get to Him?” These were all questions ringing through my head, and the timing seemed perfect with the season of life I was in.” title_tag=”h2″ width=””]

Coming from a gap year where nothing worked out for me, even after praying to God, I had questions and was relentlessly looking for answers. I found a Quran in my house and began to search for answers to all my questions. I also read other material online about the different religions: Buddhism, Hinduism and Atheism. These were all options I considered, but they never really seemed like something that would satisfy the deep craving my heart had.

One Friday, I was on campus chatting with a group of friends who were professing Christians. They were a breed of believers that I hadn’t seen before. They were conservative, but not judgmental. My “cool” tomboy self was able to resonate with them, for we had a lot in common. Somehow we got into a discussion about religion and Jesus Christ. I probably asked them a lot of questions which I don’t remember now, but I remember hearing the Gospel for the first time that day and seeing Jesus as He truly is. I felt like the deep longing in my heart had been quenched, and it’s a feeling I’ll never forget in my life. That evening, I went home, locked my door, got on my knees and repented. By His sovereign grace, I was saved from my sin and the path to destruction. Since then, I’ve seen God’s faithfulness, especially in believing and being convinced that Christ is the only way to salvation.

Soli Deo Gloria.

The post When I Look At My Life appeared first on Proverbs 31.

I had friends, purpose, a church family, direction and a full life. God was always talking to me, all I had to do to hear Him was get on His frequency, and by frequency I mean get myself in the right state of mind. What is the right state of mind you ask? The Scripture free kind, involving listening to a few worship songs to get my spiritual antenna sensitized to His presence. I would then be able to feel God’s presence. Heck, whenever I wanted to have inside info on whether or not to take that job or date that guy or move to that place, all I had to do was pray then sit quietly alone, pen and paper in hand, waiting for the Lord to speak to me. I would write down the first thing that came into mind after having sat quietly. That thing I wrote down would be what the Lord said to me because “be still and know that I am God” and “My sheep know my voice”. I didn’t need to look inside the Bible, I mean come on, Jesus and the Holy Spirit were living inside me. All I needed was within me. I could even get a word for you while I was tapped into the God frequency. I could tell you that I felt God saying this and that to me or that I saw yellow and purple (colours had spiritual meaning yo!). You needn’t worry about the word you got because it was sure to be positive; we kept our negative words to ourselves because negativity encourages no one. It was best not to speak negatively in general because “death and life are in the power of the tongue” and “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”.

As you can see, I was taking-Scripture-out-of-context trained ninja. I could make any piece of Scripture about me, or you, but mostly about me. David and Goliath? Well, that was God telling me that I was sure to conquer my Goliath like David did. And my Goliath was sometimes a job interview, actually, insert any sticky situation, annnnnnnddd Goliath! Joseph and his brothers? Easy, that was God telling me that haters would only take me to my God ordained destination. Peter walking on water? Girl please, that was God metaphorically telling me that I would be able to survive any type of challenge that came my way.

The sermons? They were law heavy, Gospel light, chuck full of life tips and entertaining. Watch a Ted talk for a reference, make sure to substitute the word ‘Universe’ with the word ‘Jesus’. As a church, we were bound to the pastor’s vision, a vision that he had received from God of course. The church would then go in whatever direction the pastor’s vision led. Man-made theology and doctrines were taught regularly, often as the doctrines of God. When Scripture was referenced, it was usually out of context and used to support the man-made doctrine or life tip. Although sin was viewed as a no-no, some of us would lie in wait for a private conviction of a sin. That is, although we verbally acknowledged that a certain sin was indeed offensive to God, we were not ready to deal with it. So waiting for a conviction, even though the Bible explicitly stated a particular action as a sin, was fancy talk for, “I don’t feel compelled to act so I will wait for God to compel or engage me emotionally”.

[eltdf_blockquote text=”This was my life. It was what I knew and understood. It was also sadly misdirected; but the best was yet to come, because the Lord, in His mercy, got me out. Over the course of a year, the Lord used the Scriptures to transform me” title_tag=”h2″ width=””]

It completely wrecked the life that I knew. I was introduced to the world of sound biblical exegesis and that changed how I saw everything. The same Bible that I had been reading for years, it turned out, contained pages and pages of stories about the Lord; stories about His goodness, love, grace, mercy, holiness and wrath.

The Lord used a simple “read in context and compare” method on me. I suddenly did not understand why we made up certain things and occasionally taught the doctrines of man as if they were doctrines of God. I no longer understood why our tongues were not a known human language or why there were no consequences for wrong prophesies; this was not the way I saw these gifts modelled in the Scriptures. I could not comprehend why the belief that scripture alone wasn’t enough existed, 2 Timothy 3:16-17 anyone? I did not agree that I somehow still needed vague prophesies to help me move forward. I was dissatisfied with the major cornerstones of the charismatic movement as a whole.

I eventually started asking a lot of questions and with that, came trouble. I got called out for questioning the teachings of men who only spoke about getting rich, or those who urged me to discover the champion in me when all I saw was a sinner set on sinning. I was not permitted to question the late pastor who said that God needed the assistance of men to perform His miracles because He was illegal on earth. I could not call out a “prophet” in an all-female Whatsapp group who felt that she could ban topics about discernment and decide what was spoken about since God had called her to start that group. I could not practice any discernment lest I be found disobedient to God’s warning to “touch not His anointed ones”. I couldn’t even show disgust and anger at the author who wrote a book about making love to God because it was an action capable of holiness since God created love making. What made me, and still makes me irritating to my Charismatic friends, was that I asked why our doctrines and practices were very different from those outlined in Scripture. That made me one who was divisive. My desire to know the Word and to question the man-made practices led a well-meaning friend to accuse me of leaving the Holy Spirit behind. I didn’t quite understand that accusation as it was the Holy Spirit who inspired the written Word.

So I had to leave. I had to start from scratch; heartbroken, a friend or two less, scarred but surer of my faith and more certain that the Lord was pleased to keep me. So I am out of the Charismatic closet and I want to hear about God in every sermon. I want to be pointed to Jesus (who was there on the battlefield) when I hear the story of David and Goliath, not me. I want to be pointed to Jesus when I hear about Joseph becoming a high ranking official in a foreign land. I want to be amazed as I am shown how truly the Scriptures are about Christ, not me, never me. I now know my place in the Scriptures, I am the worthless and pitiful sinner whose sin Christ volunteered to pay for. I am a beneficiary of an expression of love, mercy, and grace by a Holy God that was orchestrated brilliantly. I am right where I belong.

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