Growing up, I thought about one day having a family and being a mother. I wanted to be the cool mother who did all these wonderful things with her kids. In my mind, I thought I would be the best friend to my kids, and looking back, it was more about being loved than loving. I wanted to have kids who thought the world of me, and I was determined to be ‘super mom’.  The Mary Poppins, Maria von Trapp kind of mother (thank you Julie Andrews). Yes, that’s my era. Movies and books presented more of a wholesome household compared to today’s sitcoms and movies that portray a less homogeneous household and mixed up gender roles. But that’s a whole other topic on it’s own. The image of motherhood was somewhat glorious to me. I also admired my mother so much and couldn’t wait to be a mother one day, God willing.

When the Lord brought me to Himself, and started to show me through His word, who I was, I began to think “ how can I even be a mother? me?”  It was still exciting to think of, and I wanted to have as many children as the Lord would will. But as I grew in my knowledge of God and His will , He began to show me, through His word, what the role of woman , wife and mother is all about, and I knew that without Him, I couldn’t take on such a huge responsibility. He has the blueprint of life, womanhood and motherhood through His word.

Fast forward to marriage and 2 kids later. Diapers, sleepless nights, potty training, stubborn frowns, disobedience and the word “no”. When you realise that motherhood is the toughest job on the planet, because you are raising little ones for God’s glory and you feel like you are not the right person for the job. You realise that there is no such thing as a “super mom”, but only a super God “who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” (Ephesians 3:20-21).

The reality is, I don’t measure up. That “super mom” is what I attain to be, but really, I cannot. That check list that we create for ourselves, or even the checklist that we have made out of Proverbs 31:10-31, just shows me how sinful and imperfect we are. God has given me two precious little girls to raise, for His glory and I only have a short time to do it. They will grow up and take all that I have taught them, out of the home with them. Will they called me blessed ( Proverbs 31:28)? They watch what I do, they soak it all in. They learn from me whether I like it or not. How am I displaying the fruits of the Spirit to them?  Am I loving and submitting to their father as unto the Lord? Am I modeling for them, what biblical womanhood is? Even if the Lord wills to bless us with boys one day, am I showing them what a godly woman looks like? These are questions that us mothers should all ask ourselves. If we aren’t in Christ, who are we raising our kids for?

What a joy and a privilege it is, to raise children, biological or not. From the moment each of my children were born, I loved them. Just when you think you can’t possibly have more love left, you have the same immeasurable amount for one, as for the other. And this is not even including the love you already have for your husband. It’s amazing that God gives us His unconditional love and we don’t understand how boundless it is until you experience the boundless love He has given you for your husband and children. And even that, doesn’t come close to the love God has for me. And if He loves me so much and has given me such a responsibility, surely He is with me and will guide me through the ups and downs of motherhood if my life is truly submitted to Him. He “will meet all my needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Phillipians 4:19)

I still admire my mom, and I know many women admire their mothers. We respect mothers in this society, but they are not perfect. I still think that the image of a wholesome, nurturing mother is one to be admired, but looking at that image without Christ and a biblical worldview, that woman is only an idol. Only Christ can make me the woman and mother He wants me to be. I need not look to the world to tell me what a mother should look like, because she may behave like the perfect mother, but without Christ it’s impossible and the facade is meaningless.

Let’s do away with the check lists and ideas of a “super mom” and turn to Christ who enables us to do these things, because on our own it’s impossible. Raising children for God’s glory means cleaving to Christ and looking to Him in order to do it. Raise them in the fear and admonition of Him who you serve, not your own “super mom” idol. The Lord calls us to Himself, to submit to Him, to teach our kids His ways ( Deuteronomy 6: 6-9) that they may not depart from it ( Proverbs 22:6). And they will honour you (Ephesians 6:2, Proverbs 31: 28), and it will go well with them as they live a long life ( Ephesians 6:3), serving the Lord, which is what the Lord commands us to train them for. He knows the joy of raising children for Him, and done His way, it always works. We cannot be godly mothers if we aren’t godly women, looking to Christ first.

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As Mothers’ day celebrations subside, I just want to tell you that I’ve been thinking of you lately. I’m a mom today because you gave birth to my son. You gave me such a wonderful and precious gift. This letter is to merely thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have never met you nor do I have your address but I know you are somewhere out there.

Mothers’ day and my sons’ birthday are calendar events that bring so much joy to me and I think any other mother out there. I know these calendar events also tug something in your heart as you carried this boy in your womb. I’m sure you’d like someone to wish you happy mothers’ day, perhaps they have and you’ve struggled with the concept as you left your baby in the hospital and someone else is raising him?

Perhaps you have tried to keep a straight face when you see a mothers’ day advert on TV or in magazines, when you hear on radio how thankful people are to their mothers for raising them in difficult circumstances. Perhaps you’ve tried to run away from such celebrations. Perhaps you’ve tried to stay strong and forget about the whole thing?

Well, YOU are a mother even though you are not raising your baby. I don’t blame you at all for leaving him at the hospital. You chose the best option for him, instead of aborting him or leaving in near a bin or in some open field him you gave him up for adoption. Some women do not have such guts and for that, I take my hat off to you, salute! [eltdf_blockquote text=”I want to wish you a happy mother’s day! You’ll forever be my son’s mother and forever in my thoughts. Please know that I will tell of your courage to my son for years to come and perhaps until the day I die!” title_tag=”h2″ width=””]

Don’t let this mothers’ day (and the ones to come) bring misery and pain but smile and be filled with much hope. He’s growing up with so many people loving and supporting him; especially his dad, my husband loves him like his own. It’s been an emotional journey and a half for me;  love doesn’t begin to describe what I have for him and I’m so blessed to be his mother!

Happy mothers’ day once again.

Love

Your sons’ mother.

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