Malamulo  R.T  Chindongo  brings  to  this  book,  16 years  of  ministry  experience to  college  students and  young  professionals  in  parts  of  Southern Africa  and  the  USA.  Rethinking  Relationships  seeks to  provide  men  and  women  with  a  tool  and  guide in  their  preparation  for  life,  courtship,  marriage and  family. Malamulo is currently serving as one of the elders at Antioch Baptist Church, in Blantyre, Malawi.

About the Book

Why another book on dating & courtship? Dating, courtship, and marriage largely remain areas with more questions than answers for many people. Navigating through these waters has never been easy for any generation. In Rethinking Guy/Girl Relationships, you will find answers to commonly asked questions concerning dating, courtship, and marriage.

Can this book be used for self study? Rethinking Guy/Girl Relationships is not just a book for personal enjoyment or for curious readers, but a biblical guide for those who are serious about developing healthy relationships with marriage in view. The book follows a simple format for easy reading. All the chapter titles are specific questions people ask concerning singleness, dating, courtship, and marriage.

What makes this book important for African readers? Most books on courtship today are written by western authors, and in most cases they overlook addressing issues faced by African men and women. In Rethinking Relationships, the author biblically addresses cultural issues unique to men and women in Africa. As the moral compass of our culture continues to nosedive, new ideas are being suggested to many young men and women on how to go about finding a partner. The entertainment industry has taken the lead with most of its concepts of love, romance, and marriage becoming the cause of most failed marriages.

What can readers expect to learn about the Bible from this book? The Bible provides timeless and working solutions to our problems. God made the marriage relationship, and He has the manual on how to cultivate a glorifying, God-honoring marriage.

Are other topics addressed in the book besides dating & courtship? This is more than a book about dating and courtship. The author seeks to help readers deepen their understanding of biblical manhood and womanhood, and how all these subjects find their meaning in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Who This Book is For:

Single Men & Women & those in a Relationship

Rethinking Relationships is for both single men and women. Those who will get married someday. A lack of preparation is the cause of most relationship and marriage problems.

Engaged & Married Couples

If you are engaged or have  just got  married,  you will  find  this book helpful as you  reflect on things you could have done better, and as you consider the more advanced chapters in  the book together with your partner.

Pastors, Youth Pastors & Bible Study Leaders

If you are someone who is leading a bible study or counseling young couples, you will find this book to be a very helpful tool for guiding others through these difficult waters.

How to Get A Copy of this Book

South African residents can have access to the book by placing an order here: info@28distrcts.org or contacting  0827538517 on WhatsApp. This book is also available on AMAZON

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A serious “HOTT” mess…

Funny enough, that is not what a lot of people would think of my marriage to Lilly. From the outside, people think that our marriage is one big musical – and that’s because we are both musicians. But take it from me, there isn’t much singing or rapping in the house when two “creative” sinners have to share one space.

My wife is truly a 21^st century inner-city girl . Much of her experiences were shaped by the Johannesburg underground art scene. Though, as much as the streets of Jozi unearthed her vibrantly colourful personality – which is a good thing, they also taught her how to embrace her natural rebellion against the God of the universe.

Concurrently, Lilly also came from a home where her mother was overtly Christian and this also had a strong influence in the development of Lilly’s womanhood. The streets gave her confidence to think, while her mother gave her confidence to believe. However, the result of this combination was not as sweet…the “god” she intellectually believed in, was not the same God her mother trusted.

Lilly and I met and became friends during my 1^st year in varsity. However, it was post varsity when we decided to take this “Jesus thing” seriously. Taking this “Jesus thing” seriously for us merely meant, going to church regularly, praying and fasting as much as possible. Unfortunately, we had dodgy teaching, and somehow we believed that we were specially handpicked by God to continue writing the bible.

It wasn’t until I was introduced to the doctrines of grace that I realised how unbiblical our “Jesus thing” truly was. My heart and mind were rocked and my eyes were opened. I went to tell Lilly about what I had discovered. At that time we had been friends for 5 years and had only been dating for 5 months. She was the person who encouraged me to take this “Jesus thing” seriously, and now, I was going to turn around and crush her whole world by telling her that what we had believed was not the real thing.

This began the most painful year in our relationship. My wife (then fiancé) had never been so theologically challenged before – God was doing something in her heart. As He challenged me, He used me as an instrument to draw His daughter to Himself. We had long nights of WhatsApp conversations about scripture, its doctrines and applications. Dates that started off well but progressed into theological warfare, and prayers for marriage, that ended up as dreams for singlehood.

However, her streetwise, very dismissive “I’m a free thinker” attitude was fading away, because there was a real work of the spirit happening inside of her.

Lilly soon realised that our old “Jesus thing” required only her emotions to be engaged and not her mind. But now she was seeing that God doesn’t call us into a blind faith but He encourages us to intellectually engage with His truth. So faith and intellectuality were no longer mutually exclusive, this brought a real excitement for the Christian faith in her life.

In the past couple of years, I have seen a hard-core rebel  – who hated the true God, loved herself and her ideals more– being crushed and torn, destroyed and rebuilt, stripped away and being clothed with the likeness of her King.

My wife is the realest! Seeing her wrestling with her faith in her music, with so much honesty, pursuing confidence in the cross, especially when she has to stand on stages and sing to crowds that are by nature hostile towards her God, is wonderful. This has made her a beast of an artist. Witnessing her wanting to give more and more of her talents and gifts to serving God has inspired me to solider on in my music as well.

From one artist to another, seeing the greatest Artist of all time showing off His glory through my wife, has certainly been the best art I’ve seen.

By Blaque Nubon

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No woman who has not learned to master herself can be trusted to submit willingly to her husband. And that word willingly means that she does not merely resign herself to something she cannot avoid. It means that by an act of her own will she gives herself. With gladness she submits because she understands that voluntary submission is her very strength [emphasis mine]. Because it is the thing asked of her by her Creator, it is the thing that which assures her of fulfilment. It is the task assigned her which, willingly performed, actually strengthens the husband in his weakness.[1]

I would like to write about my wife Buya Ennie Phiri. One of the many virtues she has, which spring from the honest truth that she is ‘a woman who fears the Lord’, is that she is teachable and willing to learn from me as her husband. She does this out of her fear for Christ as her Lord. She has made a very conducive environment for me to teach and lead us in the word. She has encouraged me to study and read so that I can be competent to lead and teach our family in the truth of Scripture.

She shows her interests in asking me questions of things she does not understand in her own private reading of the bible, or from the sermon at church. When we are doing our family time of prayer and study of the scriptures, she is keen on either asking or answering questions regarding what the scriptures are saying. She earnestly prays with me and for me that we may live out the things we read and study in the scriptures. Much as she is a very intelligent woman, she makes me feel like I’m the genius between us.

In her field of expertise, and in things she does best, I run to her for counsel and wisdom. She has indirectly taught me much in life by her virtue of meekness as seen in her submission. Her willingness to learn from me makes me feel like the hero, when actually she is the hero. Have you ever wondered why in Proverbs 31:23 the husband of the virtuous woman is known at the gates (the gate was the centre of town life, where legal business was transacted), when he sits with the elders of the land? Well, like the old saying goes; behind every successful man is his woman. ‘No man succeeds without a good woman behind him’ (Harold Macmillan, 1963).

[1] Let me be a woman, p. 325

By Mas Phiri

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