Even so, with the English language ‘coming out of my nose’, so they say, and memories of sharing swimming pools and bathtubs with white friends as a child; I only awakened to the depth of black consciousness over the past year with all the racial tension that’s plagued our hurting nation.

I’m often saddened when walking the streets of down town Joburg and seeing inequality spread out like a quilt carefully crafted to depict the aftermath of apartheid and a struggling black nation trying to find itself.

For the longest time I’ve suffered in silence about an awkwardness that I could not explain. I have a good education and I ‘speak well’ (speak well is essentially a bigot term used to identify people who aren’t English, but still speak the language without a heavy accent – usually given as a compliment). I am pursuing my dreams. I have a job. There are opportunities open to me. But I feel … lesser than. I’m good, yes, but just not good enough. I can do a lot of things…but just not in this skin. Looking back, the words of the American singer and songwriter Solange with her new song ‘ Cranes in the Sky’  helped me to at least direct my articulation on what this crippling thing could be. It’s a beautiful song about attempts in conquering private pain.

I tried many straining things to help me get a grip on who I am and what my purpose is. But this metal cloud would hover over me like an eagle marking its target. I eventually tried praying this thing away and applying the band aid of “my identity is in Christ’ without applying myself to what that truly means. It sounds so holy and right. Often I’d repeat, “ it doesn’t matter what my culture is, my Christian culture is all that’s important”.  Be that as it may, this thing is still ever with me and I want to rant and rave it away alongside the young activists making fees and statues fall. This thing is thick with injustice; full with unrighteousness and swollen with anger.

Black anger is legit. Black anger is somewhat righteous. Being physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually oppressed by another people for centuries is no small thing. It affects all black South Africans today in one way or another. It affects me, even in all my cosmopolitan-ness and good education-ness. It’s almost in our DNA.

This thing wants justice. My oppressed head, heart and heritage needs redemption. It just might not be the kind most are looking for. No. The justice that will prevail over the land is far greater than anything we can think or imagine.

As a Christian I believe in a Savior who did not come to judge the world but save it. God’s desire in renewing all things is all encompassing, from peoples to social systems. Truth is, when sin entered the world, it did not just affect people but all of creation. The beauty of diversity in all our different cultures that we see glorifying God in Revelation 7 has been tainted by the fall and with it came social systems and injustices that marred the imago dei.  However, the glorious gospel affirms that all will be made right. Justice will prevail.  All will be accounted for. Not necessary by me, but by God himself. I can do my part here and there and my part counts, but ultimately, perfect justice will come from the only Just One.

Any past, present or future injustice will never go unnoticed or unpunished. God cares about it all and not just on a high level but even when we are robbed of change in a taxi or undermined at work for following procedures with all integrity – all these little and big hurts will be accounted for…by Jesus.

The gospel is such a game changer in that it isn’t a religious movement or a political ideal. Christ’s transformative power found in the gospel deals with the heart of a person and the heart of the matter. It deals with the inner being that is shaped and influenced by cultural movements, yes, but it also transcends it.

The gospel has no ties with being Jew or Greek, a slave or freeman, male or female…black or white, although it does not make those distinctions disappear (Gal 3v28). The human soul was made to glory in God; to be in constant awe of Him; to be satisfied in Him and enjoy him forever. This comes with obeying His holy word that instructs the soul – housed by various cultures – to love Him and believe in Him and all He has promised. The gospel is the sweetest answer to all injustice because the sin and guilt of the world was thrust upon Jesus.

We are able to look upon whoever who continues to oppress us knowingly or unknowingly today with love that only God Himself can give. As C.S Lewis puts it ,”It’s loving another self because it is a self (like us) made by God. “And since we all know how much punishment we deserve for our secret racial or non-racial sins, we should be able to resonate with the grace our fellow South Africans need even though some might not know they need it yet.

The post Woke and Christian appeared first on Proverbs 31.

Then, my grandfather’s funeral happened… this sad event provided the context for me to further contrast the Ubuntu in the village and that from the ‘burbs. My mind was blown away by how the whole village came around us in support. They knew and understood the difficulty of arranging a funeral and they all chipped in; some households brought serving tables and others brought a chair each -in isolation, it doesn’t seem like anything but 56 households later means 56 chairs.

This is how we were raised, yet how far we have departed from that manner of life? This retreat is tragic because the Ubuntu way of living is comparable to the way of life that God commanded when He stated that: the law is summed up in our love for Him and love for… yes, our neighbour. Granted, we have our church community, but I highly doubt that God was referring exclusively to our immediate family and church family when He used the term “neighbour”.

“Neighbour” refers to people that you live in close proximity to. Life in the burbs and its busyness has left us not knowing our neighbours. I dread to think of the day when I don’t need sugar but have a real emergency that requires my neighbour’s help. The dialogue would awkwardly be something like: “Hi, I am Lebo from number 14…erm…we’ve waved and smiled at each other a few times…so…please could you help me with…”

This concept of neighbourly love really hit home when I read one of Wednesday’s Word from Paul Tripp on people. The segment spoke about the importance of treating people as people or image bearers; not as the petrol attendant, the cashier or the bank teller but as a person who is bearing the very image of God. [eltdf_blockquote text=”How I treat my neighbours matters to God. They are the mission field that He has given to me. We think we need to hit the streets and cross borders to spread Gods love, when we can simply reach out our arms to our neighbours next door.” title_tag=”h2″ width=””] Consequently, hubby and I resolved that this year we would be deliberate about getting to know our neighbours and inviting them over for a meal. It won’t be easy and will mean getting out of our comfort zone, but we both know the blessing of growing in a community with loving neighbours.

Neighbourly love is so hard to do because my flesh wants nothing but my own comfort, wants not to be inconvenienced in anyway; but praise the Lord for the Holy Spirit who works in me, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

But, is not the whole point of neighbourly love merely an act of “considering others as more significant than ourselves”? Is it not being of the same humble mind that our Lord Jesus Christ had? May He be our help in our endeavour to love our neighbours as He would.

Halla in the comments below on some practical things we can do to live in community and “love thine neighbour.”

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Okay, that’s where the fairytale ends. I don’t even think it was a summers day, probably winter. Either way, it was pretty awkward, because there I was, trying to be like some of the ladies I look up to in the church. You know them right? Those ladies that speak softly and rub your arm ever so gently when talking to you.

But who was I trying to fool? I’m the loud, shake-like-I’m-having-an-epileptic-attack when something is really funny kind of girl and I had suddenly turned into this quiet person – people thought I was sick! Maybe even thought I was in mourning. It just wasn’t me.

I should be careful here before I say “be yourself”, because, uhm, Jeremiah 17:9 is quite the verse to chew on. What I’m trying to say however, is that trying to balance my personality (which is pretty much loud and out there) and learning to maintain a graceful and kind spirit is a slow process for me.

For example, I enjoy making jokes, that’s part of my extroverted nature. However, it’s so easy for the jokes I make to be mean spirited – thus not in tune with a graceful and kind spirit. At the time, the jokes really seem funny. But getting home and really thinking about it, I almost always see that I made a joke at someone else’s expense. How much worse is it when that person knows you as someone who claims to be Christian, yet you make fun of people and leave them feeling hurt?

That’s not even the main issue though; the issue is me, why do I find fun in degrading or embarrassing a person? Pointing out where they are lacking in, what they are weak at or whatever flaw it is, just for the entertainment of me and those around me? Can I honestly claim that this “is just my personality”? Or rather, do I do this because of how cool and relevant I’ll be among the people I’m with at the time?

Sometimes, while in the midst of making jokes I can see that I’m getting carried away and I should stop, but I keep going because I have the attention of everybody in the room and I am the one making them laugh. In those moments I can see that I have a choice between keeping the attention on myself or simply “dying to self”, obeying God and just keeping quiet.

I know for some folk this seems like something so simple and easy to do, and thank the Lord for the grace He’s shown you in that department. But for me, it’s a daily struggle to not make everything in this life all about me but rather be about God and about glorifying Him.

[eltdf_blockquote text=”The wickedness in my heart shocks me, I don’t know why, because we’ve already been told that the heart is wicked above all things, and no one can know it. Yet even in the midst of such wickedness there’s hope -” He that began a good work in us will surely perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus”!” title_tag=”h2″ width=””]

Therefore, we should not lose hope because of how we fail; Jesus Christ has succeeded on our behalf and is seated at the right hand of the Father interceding for us always. None of us have obtained salvation through our own works and so we should not look to ourselves to think we’re able to persevere to the end. Instead, we should always trust in Christ and depend on Him because He has already done the work for us.

The post When Jokes Laugh You Into Sin appeared first on Proverbs 31.

Er..ok. Good for her is what I normally think…Meanwhile, in the real world, as I battle sin, sin which I enjoy, which I repented of yesterday, commit today and repent of again. As I don’t always know if I get this, I don’t always feel like I understand myself, my place in this world, God doesn’t always make sense. And no, I don’t always suppose the greatest purpose of my life is to get married, have kids and live happily ever after teaching Sunday school and home schooling said offspring. 

[eltdf_blockquote text=”I wanna discover the soul of this woman. Surely she had fears, surely she had bad days, surely she had issues, surely there was more to her than the fact that her husband’s heart trusts in her, surely surely surely!” title_tag=”h2″ width=””]

To be honest, I find the interpretation of the proverbs 31 model claustrophobic. It often feels one dimensional. The only time I hear it being punted is on how to be a good wife and mother…two things I am not. She seems boring and predictable. I don’t want to be her. I want to be me. I want the adventures that God has planned for me, in my uniqueness, bearing in mind my weakness and my strengths. I want to focus on relationships beyond those of spouse and kids. I feel the world is bigger than the proverbs 31 rhetoric I’ve been fed.

In actuality though, the proverbs 31 narrative does transcends beyond being a wife and a mother. But, you’d never guess that based on how the generic Christian community talks about it. I don’t want to sit comfortably in that generic box. I wanna discover the soul of this woman. Surely she had fears, surely she had bad days, surely she had issues, surely there was more to her than the fact that her husband’s heart trusts in her, surely surely surely!

Maybe she had a tattoo, maybe she ran a major company, maybe she did teach Sunday school, maybe she was barren, maybe she remained single?…I don’t think her worth and her beauty were the consequence of her social position and relationship status. She is worth more than rubies because her heavenly Father has placed that price tag on her. Regardless of her circumstances, she is valued. She is a woman who seeks after Gods heart – continually. That’s the type of woman I want to be. However that plays out in my life. I want her adventure, the adventure of being always led by the Spirit.

The post But Did The Proverbs 31 Woman Have A Tattoo? appeared first on Proverbs 31.

Yep, my life was planned out! I was set and my ways would prevail – if I just made sure that I focus on the goal ahead, work hard and pray that God would make my plans succeed. Needless to say, I was on a power trip and I wanted God to make my plans succeed. I was on my high horse thinking God was my genie, this was my formula: you dream, pray and viola! The doors are open.

Little did I know that I was deceived by my own selfishness-everything was about me – my this, my that, nothing about me being silent before a holy God and asking what he has in store for me. I was not eager to hear his word or voice. In fact I had removed him off the throne and made myself the king of my life. I elevated my fleshly desires above Jesus Christ my Savior.

Many times we often get excited with the journey ahead, we forge forward, we want to be in control of “our lives” and then our worlds often come tumbling down when things don’t go our way, we literally get stuck and go into a depressive state where weeping and gnashing of teeth is experienced. We build our plans on how ‘my life’ should be and never on how much I love God with all my heart. The “me ideal” collapses immediately. As Matthew puts it Mark 12:29–31

[eltdf_blockquote text=”Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this:‘ You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandmentz greater than these.”” title_tag=”h2″ width=””]

You notice there is a shift of focus when you love the Lord your God. Everything you do, you do with this in mind, heart and strength. My varsity ambitions were for my glory and not for God. I wanted to set my life up in such a way that I’m king. This year I turn 30, half of what I had planned out a decade ago didn’t go as planned and I’m okay with that. Actually I’m thrilled it didn’t, as I would have thought that my life turned out as I planned because of my efforts and wisdom. In fact how things have turned out it has been for my good and sanctification. And I’m so thankful it has turned out the way He intended, otherwise I’d be that “Ms high and mighty” but dead spiritually. I now intend to live for Him. Walk in his ways for his glory just as Paul states in Philippians 3:13 that “…13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Side note: I have in no way become a saint over night; this has been a gradual process. It took God almost (and still in the process) 10 years to break my will. On a daily basis I ask God “Oh Lord let your will be done, not mine but yours be done!” This is a daily struggle for me but I’m taking it one step at a time. Remembering who is in control.

The post I Had My Life All Planned Out appeared first on Proverbs 31.