Funny enough, that is not what a lot of people would think of my marriage to Lilly. From the outside, people think that our marriage is one big musical – and that’s because we are both musicians. But take it from me, there isn’t much singing or rapping in the house when two “creative” sinners have to share one space.
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No woman who has not learned to master herself can be trusted to submit willingly to her husband. And that word willingly means that she does not merely resign herself to something she cannot avoid. It means that by an act of her own will she gives herself. With gladness she submits because she understands that voluntary submission is her very strength
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“I am grateful for my wife’s example of counting others more significant than herself, I am grateful for her example of sacrificial living. I am grateful for those women who became walking commentaries on Proverbs 31 for her to read in her youth” Mandla Gqada
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I grew up on a tea plantation in southern Malawi. I loved the fresh air and freedom, but from about age six, I was being sexually molested by the guards at our house and then later, a cook. I don’t know why I was afraid to tell my parents, but it left me twisted inside in many ways. I felt as though I wasn’t good enough for the people around me. I started withdrawing within. I remember hearing one of my mother’s friends say of me “this one is not as friendly as her sister”. I spent many nights crying, my swollen eyes were becoming a regular, normal sight.
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When I look at my life, I see a full testament of how God orchestrates every single thing I’ve gone through for a grander purpose.
I grew up in the small city of Mzuzu, Malawi. I was raised by very religious grandparents who were very active members of the church. I recall never missing Sunday school, so from a young age I had an awareness of who God is, as well as an understanding of right from wrong. But I wouldn’t say I was saved.
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I used to be in the charismatic movement. I was a fully-fledged member. I had gone through the rites of passage; I attended the conferences, the leadership seminars, ‘prophesied’, ‘spoke in tongues’, lead worship, played in the church band, wrote a few worship songs, started a Christian band, lead a small group and even had Jeremiah 29: 11 bookmarked. Basically, I was in there!
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Like all fairytales start; one day, on a beautiful summer’s day in the beautiful town of Johannesburg, there was a princess named Tsholo. She was soft spoken and laughed so gently and eloquently. Then one day, someone lovingly asked her, “what are you doing!?”
Okay, that’s where the fairytale ends. I don’t even think it was a summers day, probably winter. Either way, it was pretty awkward, because there I was, trying to be like some of the ladies I look up to in the church. You know them right? Those ladies that speak softly and rub your arm ever so gently when talking to you.
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